I awoke at the ungodly but wholly Godly (I mean, really, He operates at all times) hour of 4:45 to bid farewell to the first shift of people leaving for ministry assignment. These folks have the longest drives (it's a 25-hour drive to Lodwar...goodness, I'd never want to be assigned there). I wasn't due to leave until 8:00ish. As you can see, everyone's looking particularly spectacular at this time of day and I'm experiencing separation anxiety with Candice.
On the bus to my host family's place, I was beside myself with this sort of "etc." of emotions. The radio played Britney and then Casting Crowns and the juxtaposition threw me off, I nervous-ate some prunes (don't make fun), slept fitfully, and then journaled. By the time the lattermost of this occurred, I was a bit more settled. "I'm just sitting, going along. I feel borne along on a wave...Your kingdom is moving in my heart and I don't know what I'm doing--except catching a hold of Your hand and letting
That's what I wrote, and it would sound all nice and holy of me, but unfortunately, yes, I had some...miswrites. I think I must've just been that exhausted and not in my right mind. I'm denying that they're Freudian slips. Though it may be an indication that the deepest parts of myself are yet warring with God for control over things that, in the end, I have none. Not so pure in heart as I would hope, I guess...
Lord help me, today is the day.
No comments:
Post a Comment